


agonies

by aeriamamaduck



Series: these eyes of mine cry [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bilingual Character(s), Both male and female SoSu survive, Breastfeeding, Español | Spanish, F/M, Heavy Angst, Injury Recovery, Lactation Kink, Married Couple, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 19:54:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13888014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeriamamaduck/pseuds/aeriamamaduck
Summary: "Love is kind," they say.-In which both spouses come out of Vault 111.





	agonies

**Author's Note:**

> **Me two years ago** : you mean after spending an hour sculpting the perfect husband I have to watch this man DIE? Nope, nuh-uh. Not having it. You already took Martin from me, Bethesda.
> 
> Meet my fo4 babies, Montserrat Almeda and her husband Javier Almeda (who was holding Shaun). Their names are their tumblr tags, and there's an additional 'montse and javi' tag.
> 
> They'll eventually start a polyamorous relationship with MacCready. For now, here they are in Sanctuary after meeting Preston.

Heat and heavy and hurt.

 

Cement over her lungs, just on the edge of give and relief. 

 

Nothing. Nothing until she had her baby back, her baby needed her,  _Shaun's going to need my milk, Javi-_

 

Frustrated, Montserrat sat up and looked at her husband in the near-darkness, her eyes filled with every  _horrible_ thought from the past year, like iron and fire ready to beat and burn.

 

She knew that if she reached out and touched the spot beneath his left shoulder, inches from his heart, she'd find that thick mess of scar tissue, feel blood seeping and sticky through her fingers like when she'd pulled out the bullet and there'd been no one to hear him scream but her and the radroaches and the frozen corpses that used to be their neighbors. 

 

A scream, tearing through his throat, a sound he'd made and heard so much since he went to war, and now  _she'd_ caused it. An animal sound of pain and  _make it stop, MAKE IT STOP, MONTSE._

 

It stopped eventually, and she pumped him full of stimpaks before even thinking of trying to drag him out of the vault.

 

And Javier just cried as they waited, heavy and broken in her arms as they waited for his legs to work again.  _"I let go. I let go it was me I should've killed that fuck..."_

 

There had been nothing _living_ in the scarred man's eyes or voice in those horrible moments, not as he shot Javier or peered into Montserrat's pod with an almost appraising look.

 

Her breasts burned at the thought of her baby in that suited bitch's arms, and she couldn't help her pained whimper.

 

Javi never slept, she supposed. He was up in an instant, touching her shoulder like he hadn't been avoiding her for more than a year. Like they weren't in a broken-down, irradiated mockery of their bedroom and their baby's crib didn't lie empty across the hall.

 

" _Pesadilla?"_ he asked, voice rough with pain and guilt and exhaustion.

 

She shook her head. She had no need for nightmares when she was actually living one.

 

Javier was quiet for a moment, and Montserrat felt his eyes on her. Then a long sigh. "You can't go on like this, baby."

 

She turned to glare at him, agony pulsing through her. "What if he still needs it?"

 

It passed through them like electricity. Blame, guilt, fury, at each other, at the fucking world for doing this to them, at that fucker with the gun...

 

Javier said nothing. He bore the guilt. Ever since she took the bullet out.  _"I had Shaun in my arms, I had him..."_

 

It was the end of the world and Montserrat had thought that the three of them would  _finally_ be okay in their underground home, until they could finally emerge and rebuild and give Shaun the home he deserved. 

Two centuries. Codsworth trimming branches. A group of strangers sharing their roof. A new scar from that deathclaw.

 

Her baby far far far away.

 

"Let me help, then," Javier said in a quiet, firm voice, and Montserrat wanted to kick herself for wanting to say yes.

 

It had been so long, probably since they conceived Shaun and had the fights and Javier left without even a note. He'd returned two months later, set on being a father, and Montserrat didn't trust him. They shared a bed, but little else. True, things had been improving, but nothing was the same as it was before. They hoped Shaun would make the difference. 

 

But Shaun was gone.

 

"Fine," she said. It hurt too much to argue, and she felt like one exposed nerve. Anything to feel normal, like those moments during her pregnancy when they could forget that he left and that she was still so angry, but he was touching her with such care and love.

 

It was the same here, as he helped her take her shirt off.

 

She gasped at the shock of his tongue on her nipple, his lips closing over it, and then  _finally_ blessed relief as his careful sucks made her milk flow.

 

Their first time, both of them inexperienced and fumbling college sophomores, Javier had spent so much time at her breasts that Montserrat had giggled and reminded him that there was more of her to touch. 

 

Now it was all inexplicably soothing as her hands automatically went to his hair to hold him in place, teeth dragging over her lip to silence her soft moans. Codsworth still puttered around the house and Preston's group slept across the street. There were no cars or sounds flowing from Concord. She didn't want anyone to hear this.

 

Javier moved to the other one, and yet another knot unraveled inside of her. Montserrat let herself hold her husband, holding back fresh tears, trying not to think of Shaun, of Javier getting shot, of his blood in her hands as he tried tried  _tried_ to crawl after their baby.

 

He felt her shake but said nothing.

 

He just held her as he kissed at her breasts.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: **aeriamamaduck**


End file.
